An Unfinished Story of People, Places, and Music

I sift through the oversized box, full of band shirts in different shapes of wear and tear, tour shirts with the date emblazoned on the back, women-sized shirts bought at merch stands, old, old shirts from decades ago, bought with money I scrimped and saved ahead of time. Widened neck holes, arms cut off, some teeny tiny that barely fit over these breasts I have since grown, kept out of nostalgia and memories and a faint hope that once my breastfeeding days subside I will comfortably fit in them again. Band names that no longer exist apart from in memories of basement bars and long nights, good looking guitarists always shredding my heart into pieces. The soft feel of the material between my fingers, the smell of bars and booze, Chanel no 19, coconut and cold vodka still in my mind, conjured up through the long-lasting lavender softener scent.

Music you own me, you are the rhythm of my memories and haunt my future, hold me up and pull me down, bring me back and push me forward. The Siouxsie shirt that went from office stress to DJing til early in the morning at Midway, fence down low so the sunlight wouldn't bother us. Years gone by and I can still taste the air, jager and stolen kisses in the DJ booth up high, Bonnie Tyler for a laugh, the electric slide along the floor. The tiny Secret Machines shirt, so tiny I don't even know how it fit, fills my soul with a swaying happiness, because despite everything it was always going to be OK, right place and right time, a moment in time which would slip away from us, both moving along and thanking each other. The one Cure shirt from back in the day, proper vintage, a perfect gift from a perfect friend, a mutual love of The Cure framing a friendship, an appreciation of the deeper impact of music drilling it deeper.

The pale green Sonic Youth tee, the eye staring, knowing, watching, a time of sitting back and listening, observing and not participating, a time of sunshine and beaches and sobriety, where the drunken stories were no longer my own bit those others told me. Barcelona wanderings leading me to moonlight ramblings from a balcony I will never see again, chain smoking with one hand, furiously writing with the other. The black Interpol t-shirt, purchased many, many years after my first Interpol show, that one in Staten Island, new to NYC, embracing my new life with an old but new friend, a door opening towards Ludlow and Orchard - Darkroom, Motorcity, and then The Skinny and later 200 Orchard. Pianers on Sunday, and so much stomping up and down those streets, heels worn down on my Fryes, eyes bright with anticipation or ivresse or both. The first time I met them, these people I fell in love with through my headphones, I was shy and intimidated, and then it was just all home anyway. The streets, the people, the music. Interpol and Calla and Dead Combo, my Ludlow, maybe yours.

Oh look there is my Spiritualized t-shirt, washed and worn so many times, so many memories of shows, Terminal 5, Radio City, Webster Hall... Hotel Rivington, watching the sun rise over the East River, a glass of red wine in my hand, having meaningful conversations with musicians, wishing I had more to offer, constantly feeling less than others, undermining my own value and feelings, a warrior fighting my own demons, while fighting my own self-worth. Spiritualized, weaving through my life, my firstborn's first show, a little secret in my womb, a pregnancy announcement whispered from one side of the balcony to the other. Come Together, before our lives all fell apart in an explosively wonderful manner. Spiritualized, always a cleansing, beautiful way to raise my soul, my happy music, sealing broken hearts, lifting me towards love. And always with my best friend, together even when we weren't. Surprisingly only one Nick Cave, my love now worn by my true life love, but so many moments in his presence from Lyon to the Beacon Theater, standing over me, that voice that transcends all others, whispering, goading, flipping your stomach inside out, grabbing you by the heart. There is no other, no other like him. The Kills, the one band I have seen more than any other, every time better than the last, never failing to grab me by the guts and shove me in front of my emotions.

And then there are those shirts that are only left in my memories, the original Ride the Lightning, paper thin with age, hash holes along the bottom, Metallica. I finally saw them 18 years later, Megadeth-Slayer-Metallica, teenage dreams coming alive in my 30's, jammed against the fence by the pit, screaming along to old songs with unknown new friends next to me. Strangers but together with the music. Seasons in the Abyss alive and well, lyrics taking me back to my teenage room in France, while standing on the soil of NYC. A 200 franc note blowing down the street, landing at my feet. I kept it for a week in case anyone claimed it and then ran to the shop in the center of town, spending half an hour deciding between two Nirvana shirts, finally opting for the one that wasn't the yellow smiley. My first own music t-shirt purchase, teenage uniform with my mismatched Doc Martens and ripped jeans. The Nine Inch Nails shirt, bought in the US on the Fragile tour, worn into the ground on a kibbutz in Israel, Trent’s voice’s effect on my heart lasting so much longer than his merch.

Hundreds of shirts, all neatly folded in a box, all waiting to be worn again, telling the stories of a lifetime of music, of lifetimes of music, memories dancing to the beat of a drum, twirling towards a crescendo, caught in time. Right there, that high note, Leonard Cohen's smile as he dances across the stage; the smoke surrounding American X, still true today BRMC; Peter, white faced and dark-eyed, once again reunited with Daniel, David, and Kevin, and me standing from that balcony in the Times Square venue, wondering how I had finally managed to make a teenage Bauhaus dream come true. Red wine and Lit, running through the streets of NYC, places that now only exist in my memories and maybe yours. An unfinished story of places, people, and the music that brought us altogether.

Aftershock Festival: It's More than "Just" Music

So, obviously I’m really excited about this year’s Aftershock line-up, as it was what I had considered to be my dream line-up last year. But that’s a festival for you: the possibility of having more than one of your favorite bands in front of you in the same place on the same day (or over the space of a weekend). I’ve been to hundreds and hundreds of shows in my life, and I have a huge passion for live music (who doesn’t?) – but festivals are a whole different kettle of fish. Festivals are music, but also an entire experience: the food, the people, the atmosphere. Festivals are my idea of a circus, in the best way possible. At Aftershock last year some of my favorite memories are of when we spent time strolling around, checking out the different food options, and the different tents to see what they had to offer. We found ourselves circling back to The Music Experience area time and time again, because it was a real interactive treat.

The Music Experience is a place where brands can interact with the public, in a way that makes the public feel like they are walking away with something. That something may be knowledge, a new skill, a purchase, or just the feeling that they met some cool people and had a fun time. We walked in because we wanted to look at the instruments on display, and ended up learning all about different drum kits. Our then two year old sat down behind a huge drum kit and to her delight was handed a couple of drum sticks and told to play. This child is pretty shy at the best of times, but she just grabbed the sticks and started playing, tapping out her own little beat in her head (she’s somewhere on the @SJCDrums Instagram account too). Through-out the rest of the weekend we kept ending back up there just to hang out, and again, someone came over and gave the kids a little egg-shaped shaker, which they ended up shaking around for the rest of the evening (and still continue to play with today). I just loved how welcoming everyone was, and how passionate they were about communicating their love for music. The Music Experience is an awesome way to get people involved in music in general and in the music industry. Their tent goes up all over the country, at festivals like Chicago Open Air, Louder Than Life, and Aftershock of course, and they also host a ton of band signings. (Seriously so much easier than climbing fences and hanging out around a tour bus… Yes I have done that in my youth, and yes, it did lead to some interesting encounters, like playing football with Impaled Nazarene or nearly falling at the feet of Nick Cave).

Another cool Music Experience activity is The Student Experience, where kids between the ages of 7 and 21 who are interested in music and arts, can actually participate in a festival by experiencing all types of activities. From Q&As with band members and all of the people behind the scenes, without whom the festivals wouldn’t take place (sound engineers, tour managers, roadies…), learning about the ins and outs of the industry, to just really experiencing a festival from the inside. If you know anyone who would be interested in joining the team at Aftershock this year submissions are open until October 10th for Aftershock right HERE. I would have leapt at the chance to do something like this when I was a teenager.

Also represented at Aftershock is Fuck Cancer and their Dyin 2 Live program. Everyone knows at least someone who has battled cancer (most people know several people, sadly), and the disease doesn’t discriminate. Old or young, rich or poor, black, white, orange, or blue, cancer lurks everywhere, Fuck Cancer is a non-profit that aims to raise cancer awareness and education about early detection, and the Dyin 2 Live program helps grant wishes to kids and adults battling cancer. You can read more about Fuck Cancer here (and why you shouldn’t have an issue using the “F” word when it’s associated with cancer), and about Dyin 2 Live here. We will definitely be stocking up on merch too, their tank tops and t-shirts are gorgeous. If you know of someone who could benefit from the program submit their story to [email protected]!

You can also check out Maynard James Keenan’s wine, learn about Heavy Grass, create some art with Juxtapoz Projects, hang out on the Monster viewing deck, and help animals in need through Take Me Home.

I’m already planning my outfit in my head, as well as what the girls will wear (I was thinking of Grit n Glory t-shirts converted into dresses because I have to rep my old friends, and because their new tees are going to be amazing), and can’t wait to experience all the fun again this year! Check out the Aftershock website for tickets and all the info you need.

(PS: Did I already tell you how much I LOVE Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, and A Perfect Circle?)  

Also – I thought this Sacramento Bee article from last June was a great portrayal of what a great event Aftershock is for the city of Sacramento. I know I only moved here 18 months ago and often complain that I miss NYC, but there are some amazing events that are held here all year round, and they are always super accessible to everyone. And, well, I just love a great music festival.

Hanging out at The Music Experience

Aftershock 2017 - A Line-Up To Make My Heart Sing

It may still be 108 degrees out but I can already hear autumn calling out to us. And while I love all of the seasons, I hold a special place in my heart for autumn: the nights drawing in, the cooler mornings and evenings, soups instead of salads, Halloween and Dia de los Muertos… And also Aftershock! This will be our second year attending (you can see what I had to say about last year’s event right here), and I’m even more excited about the line up this year than I was last year! I know I previously said that we might just take the baby this year, but after seeing the line-up I really want the girls to come too. I know, I know, they probably won’t remember seeing Nine Inch Nails live when they are older, but I would love for them to see them right here in Sacramento.

In This Moment, @alisontoonphotographer

Back in 2000 my mother moved to California and I came over with her for a week, my first time in the US. That week also happened to be the same week that Nine Inch Nails played a sold out show at the Sacramento Valley Amphitheater, with, as opening band, A Perfect Circle. While I had been a NIN fan since my early teens, this was my first encounter with Maynard, and opened up the doors to a huge, everlasting love for both Tool and A Perfect Circle. For the rest of that year I had Mer de Noms on constant repeat in my little apartment back in France. It’s still brilliant.

Anyway, I was waiting with baited breath for this year’s Aftershock line up and I actually shed some tears in happiness. Both Nine Inch Nails AND A Perfect Circle will be playing for me again! And thousands of others, but, technically, I know that it will feel like they are only playing for me. I haven’t seen either band live since that day back in June 2000, and I know full well that I am in for a huge treat (and so are thousands of other people). I’m not finished though, because who else is going to be gracing the Aftershock stage (again) this year? Another all-time favorite of mine Mr Marilyn Manson himself! (I really hope he releases that album soon by the way, I have been waiting for it since early spring!). And also: the one and only Ozzy Osbourne.

(It’s really a family affair you see… My mum used to try to frighten her mum by playing Black Sabbath; I used to try to scare mine by playing Manson and NIN. It worked so well that my mother has since shot Manson several times, with her camera, as well as 100’s of other bands and shows all over the world).

Marilyn Manson, @alisontoonphotographer

And while these bands/artists are at the top of my all-time favorites list, and I can’t wait to catch them again, there are so many more bands playing over the two-day festival. Some crowd favorites such as Five Finger Death Punch and Stone Sour, Mastodon, Halestorm and Gojira, all of whom are definitely going to put on a brilliant show. And then, others that I REALLY don’t want to miss like Highly Suspect, Eagles of Death Metal (last seen in 2006 at Irving Plaza in NYC), In This Moment, and Nothing More, who have been on steady rotation over the past few months in this household. And can I also say Suicidal Tendencies?? My 1994 16 year old self is still very much alive and kicking.

Nothing More, @alisontoonphotographer

See, this is what I love about a proper rock festival: while you can be 16 and have a fantastic time (and probably end up in a few mosh pits), you can also be nearly 40 and still have an amazing time, watching bands that put a brilliant show on 15 years ago, and an even better one today - all the while discovering new and up and coming bands. I am really looking forward to discovering more of Deap Vally (a little Juliette Lewis, a little Fluffy, a little riot = right up my street), As Lions (hailing from my homeland), and He Is Legend.     

You have to agree with me… This line up is pretty great, no? And while the music is a driving force for me, a festival is also all about the entire experience. Last year I really loved just walking around and taking it all in: the people, the atmosphere, the love, the happiness, the food, and all of the different charities and happenings taking place around the music. When you buy your ticket for Aftershock you don’t just get the bands you love, but also a real festival, just like the festivals I grew up with. I love that the organizers work with different organizations and charities, such as The Music Experience and Fxck Cancer, giving us all a chance to experience what they do and do our own bit to help. I will post more about them, and the others, next week, as I feel like they deserve their own spotlight!  

So, Nine Inch Nails, we shall meet again in Sacramento, and I cannot bloody wait!!!

Aftershock will take place on Saturday October 21st and Sunday October 22nd at Discovery Park in Sacramento. For information on tickets, food, policies etc check out the Aftershock website.

Marilyn Manson, @alisontoonphotographer

Music Keeps the Memories Alive

We used to hang out on the steps in front of the FNAC or the church across the street, clad in different shades of black, black lace and combat boots, waiting for something to happen. Time never seemed to be a rushed back then, boredom a given, but just sitting and waiting was a normal pastime. Waiting for a new album or a new show to be announced, a new person to walk by and capture our attention, a new adventure to pop up. We would nonchalantly complain about how nothing ever happened in our city, about plans to form a world-famous band, and about the best way to get drunk, but always from our church step pulpit, a stop on the way to other stops. No one had cell phones, so the church or FNAC steps were the meeting points. One by one we would gather there after school, rummage through the CDs at the store wondering if we should really spend our little money on the one album with the one song we knew we liked, or save it up for the next big thing? Or should we just club together and buy some hash and smoke it in the park?

Adolescence is a mess, but it contained a real sense of belonging for me too. A bunch of outcasts together on the same plane, taking steps together before the next turning. Music brought us together initially, and then we moved on towards a bigger sense of friendship and love. Some relationships turned sour, some bonded stronger than others, some people left, disappeared, others joined us, a little hesitantly at first, and then became part of us. Us: together, against the boredom, the normalcy, the day in day out trappings of life. Now we are all spread out all over the world, families and new homes, new loves, old flames, friends forever, and friends no more. Sometimes during a conversation over the phone or email or messenger or in person a name will pop up and we will wonder what happened to him or her. Remember that one friend who came out and we just said “oh cool, good for you!”? That must have been so hard for him in such a tough crowd of metallers, and I’m sure he was shunned by some, but it never surprised me or my close friends. I wonder what became of him? Or the girl who said she was a psychic witch with her emerald green eyes that hid so much fear? Did she end up having the child and living a normal life away from the big city and all of the evils that it contained? Or the one with all the violent and extreme “ideals”, did he simmer down or lose himself in hatred? We may have all been in the same mosh pit together or stagedived from the same death metal stage, but that doesn’t mean we all were the same, or even agreed with each other. With life comes certain realizations and we all move in different directions, towards different ideals and dreams.

Many of us are still connected though, through mile long ties and strings that refuse to break despite time and distance and life. We reminisce about days gone by, chat about the present and the future over food and drinks and through the invisible wires of the internet. Months, sometimes years, go by without a proper conversation, but time doesn’t change much, just adds a few more wrinkles and takes away a few more brain cells. These people all had a role in helping me become who I am today, sitting in the same classroom, smoking the same cigarettes, drinking the same beers, and listening to the same music. If you think metal and rock are just brutal noise then think again, it brings people together as tightly as any other music. We needed the brutality and the beauty behind it to convey our fears and misunderstandings and angst. Some got trapped, some were released. For some it was just a phase, and for some of us the music was life and we still get excited about certain bands, and love new ones. We are now the adults in the crowd, the ones we used to look at and say “that’s us in a million years time”.

Do you remember L’Entrepôt, le Rail Théâtre, le Lion, l’Exca, le Champollion? Do you remember le Jardin des Plantes and le Star Rock Café? Piling into a room together, smoking cigarettes and listening to Emperor and Burzum, Kurt Cobain on the walls, Alice in Chains in the cassette player? Do you remember rolling down hills at the Bastille, The Cure playing in your ears from your walkman, drinking wine at Berlioz, and headbanging to Metallica at L’Usine? Randomly hanging out with Oasis at the Drac Ouest, and playing football with Impaled Nazarene in the backyard of the Rail Theatre. Hanging out of car windows, drunk, while coming down from the mountains at 3am, not a care in the world, no fears, just happiness, that elated feeling of being on top of the world with your best friends. So many memories, so many concert tickets and stories and photos stuck into old journals, trapped away in little drawers in my memory.

There are bands I don’t listen to anymore, bands that served a purpose during adolescence, like Cannibal Corpse or Deicide, and others that I will never, ever stop listening to, like The Cure or Slayer. And you know what? This music has brought me together with people in all places that I have visited and lived in… A common interest found here and there, and it was even the basis of my first conversation with my partner, the love of my life. Music creates the strongest bonds and memories and I will always be grateful for the ones that it has created for me… Kurt, Layne, Lemmy, Bowie (and so many others), you may not be here anymore, but you did way more than just make music. And that goes to all of you who are still here, still creating, still inspiring. You may be dark and you may be morbid, but you still make our lives just that little bit better.

Nostalgia tends to fuel me and my writing, I know, but I often wonder for how long these memories will be so vivid, and I worry that one day they will fade away into some kind of oblivion. Music and writing them down keeps them alive.

I've always taken many, many photos, and scanned some of the negatives in a while back. There are many, many more to do, but if you were there, you might be HERE.

Aftershock Festival, and Why Kids Can Enjoy Live Music Too

I know some people have certain thoughts about bringing kids to shows and rock festivals but I think it's great. I was brought up listening to music all the time, being around musicians, even traveling with musicians. A trip to Sunderland with The Janitors and my dad will always be a fond memory, back in 80's England. I proudly caught my firstborn dancing to Nick Cave, The Cure or Stevie Nicks on camera (which she mixes up quite happily with Disney tunes), and laugh as our second gets really excited when her Dada plays Alice in Chains at high volume. Music is a huge part of our lives, so much so that I have a playlist in my head for every event in my life, and song or 4 for every moment and hope that I can pass this love along to my kids like my parents did with me. I sing to the tiny baby growing inside me every evening.  As long as my kids are comfortable, not trapped in a mosh pit and are having fun, a music festival is a great experience for all ages.

Last year in late October we took the girls to their first music festival (one and two years old at the time). It wasn’t really any old festival either, but a rock/metal festival that has taken place every year for the past 5 years in Sacramento - Aftershock. In previous years I have kind of looked on with a little jealousy from across the country as my sister and mother watched and took photos of old favourites of mine such as Marilyn Manson and Faith No More, so this time around we were determined to participate. We don’t go many places without the kids just yet, and leaving them for two whole days wasn’t really an option for us. Mind you, kids had to pay full price too, so we didn’t go into this without weighing the pros and the cons. In the end I’m really glad we took them, but all in all I think we will only take the baby this year, but probably not for the reasons you are thinking of.

Luna will always be more comfortable wherever we are, so running around festival grounds with tens of thousands of people fazed her a lot less than a few hours with a sitter would have. Aurora is always pretty easygoing anyway, so she was happy enough to be carried around in the Ergo all day and listen to music. We didn’t expect to walk as much as we ended up doing on the first day, because one of the large stages was really far from the other large stage (if you had VIP you could walk through to the other side much faster, one of the biggest perks in my opinion). While we did plan everything pretty well (apart from me forgetting the kids ear protectors, and I’m so grateful that one of my friends was able to bring me two of her kids’ pairs), I think the first day we felt a little at loss on what to do, and seeing as both the bands that we actually wanted to see (Slayer and Tool) were headlining we spent way too much time walking around aimlessly and getting irritated and bored. In the end we left just after 5pm and had dinner right by the hotel (great idea of my mum’s, to get two hotel rooms within walking distance).

So our first lesson was not to go when the doors opened and to make sure that we were going for a reason. We missed the one band that both of us were super excited to see (Tool) because we went too early and got tired and grumpy. We didn’t make the same mistake the next day. On the Sunday we ended up leaving the hotel a few hours later than the Saturday with a real, solid plan in mind: what we wanted to eat and when, and where we wanted to be and when. While we were relaxing in the grass with the girls, waiting for the first band that we wanted to see (Ghost), a really, really awesome man came up, introduced himself as Danny and gave us two VIP bracelets, telling us he was one of the promoters and that he had a young daughter at home too (after a bit of research turns out that this Danny was Danny Hayes, CEO of Danny Wimmer Presents, and if he ever reads this I would like him to know how we really, really appreciated this lovely gesture and it made the weekend all the more memorable for us). Having VIP access literally changed everything for us! We were able to sit with the kids in places close enough to the stage to see well, and the girls were much more comfortable being able to play and dance on the ground during sets (Aurora was hilarious when she started to rock out to Korn out of the blue!). So thank you Danny, you really are awesome!

I didn’t really have a problem with the set up myself, especially after we had figured out where we wanted to be and when. I don’t really have an issue walking a lot, even with a 25lb baby strapped to me, when I have somewhere to be. I do regret not planning things out better and not buying VIP tickets for the first day, but other than that I have no regrets! Oh, actually I do, missing Avatar perform because we kept being in the wrong place at the wrong time! Other than that we will be back next year without a doubt. I used to plan my festival goings out to a tee, but felt that with two small kids we should be more “go with the flow”… I was a little wrong about that!

Apart from the music I absolutely loved the Music Experience tent. We ended up spending a lot of time in there as Luna liked walking around and looking at the instruments. She even played on the big drum kit to the delight of a bunch of people who were hanging out there. Cesar’s dream is to have all the kids play an instrument and rock out together, and we have nearly enough for a band now, so encouraging Luna to play on the big drum kit really made his day! They also had a ton of band signings going on during the weekend, which was really cool.

All in all the entire set up was pretty awesome: great sound, a great mix of bands (not all my favourites, but I’m old and just want to see NIN and Marilyn Manson all the time), brilliant lighting, and loads of food and drink merchants at an affordable price as far as festivals go. A few cons: full price for kids (even babies), and no strollers. The latter was OK for us as we had two Ergos on us and are used to wearing our kids, but having small kids also means extra baggage such a diapers and wipes, and not being able to bring a small bag in for that was a little annoying. Other than that I can honestly say it was super kid friendly (especially if you were in VIP).

So… Why are we only planning on bringing one baby this year? Honestly, it’s too expensive for us to pay full price for 5 people. It will be cheaper to bring the baby and have a sitter watch the girls. Also, the line up this year basically caters to all of my wishes (NIN, Marilyn Manson, Ozzy, A Perfect Circle…), so I really want to enjoy some of my favourite bands without having to chase after a three year old and a two year old while carrying a four month old! Being a little selfish to be honest!

Aftershock will take place on October 21st and 22nd at Discovery Park in Sacramento. All information can be found on the website right HERE (including ticket sales), and I really advise to bring your kids if you are on the bench about it. There is loads of space, we had no issues whatsoever with drunk assholes, and we never felt unsafe. Oh, and there were loads of kids of all ages there, so we weren’t out of place at all!

My amazing photographer mother Alison Toon has shot every Aftershock from the first one in 2012, as well as tons of other festivals and shows over the years. She has a great eye for not only capturing the bands, but also the people and the atmosphere. You can find her work HERE.

Open One of the Doors by Trip Inside Me

Ever randomly come across music that makes you want to drop everything and climb inside it? Something that seems so familiar but so new at the same time? That’s how I felt when I first discovered Trip Inside Me. Hailing from Kiev in the Ukraine, Trip Inside Me produce beautiful melodies that float through you, dipping and diving around your heart, flowing through your veins. Formed by Iana Ielysheva and Niсk Odintsov, Trip Inside Me is a real trip inside yourself, and I’m really excited to introduce them on From The Inside. Iana’s vocals soar through your head, pulling you in, ethereal and enthralling, both melting into the melodies and standing out on their own. I’ve been playing their album Open One of the Doors on a loop all week, it’s that good. Trip Inside Me took some time out of their day to answer some questions for me, and I’m really looking forward to see where they are headed. Check out some of the links below for some videos and ways to listen to Trip Inside Me!

From The Inside: Can you provide us with a little background on how you met and how Trip Inside Me began?

Trip Inside Me: We found each other on internet and then met in the Kiev. And then we started composing music. We tried playing with many musicians, also. However, we realized that we are Trip Inside Me band, only when we intentionally started the album recording process.

FTI: How would you describe the scene in the Ukraine? Do you find that you mix current events into your music writing at all?

TIM: In real only our inner world, thoughts, life experience and feelings influenced our music. Almost all songs from “Open One Of The Doors” were written before the events in our country. During the events in Ukraine we were busy with mixing the album. Afterwards we did a pause with writing music at some point of the political turmoil, so it seems we are not highly inspired by political events at all. Now we started doing some new material, but this doesn’t relate with political situation in Ukraine. We prefer to abstract from politics and not to mix it with music.

FTI: Who would you describe as your main influences?

TIM: We have a really big variety of things that influence us in different times. As example, the album's lyrics were highly influenced by vocalist’s childhood that she spent near the sea in the small city of Crimea. Most songs are devoted to Iana’s childhood.

As for music and ideas, once we were at the best concert we’ve ever seen in our life - Portishead and Thought Forms in Italy, and that one did a really big emotional influence on us. Also we watched the movie “Сaótica Ana” at that time and this is how we’ve started the album recording.

FTI: I love the idea of providing a book with your album. What was your thought process behind its creation?

TIM: The idea of creating book was originated at the same time with music writing. It is like a complete puzzle from music, photos and illustrations. I’ve chosen photos from my archive that look well as background for each illustration. The pictures are supposed to uncover the main idea, feelings, emotions and memories. Every page of the book is dedicated to a specific song.

FTI: Anything that you would like readers to know about your music and projects? Any plans on touring or playing outside of the Ukraine in the future?

TIM: We have many thoughts, insights and plans in the future. We plan to take more videos, also to record new material. And yes, of course we’d like to play outside of Ukraine. Guys, stay tuned to our news!

Links:

Official website 

Soundcloud

Bandcamp

Facebook 

Open One of the Doors can also be found on Spotify and downloaded in iTunes. I would suggest ordering directly from the band though, because the book that comes with the album is really awesome.Open One of the Doors can also be found on Spotify and downloaded in iTunes. I would suggest ordering directly from the band though, because the book that comes with the album is really awesome. For fans of shoegaze, trip hop, dream pop, experimental rock... Thought Forms, Portishead, Switchblade Symphony, Cigale... Basically if you like anything good check out these guys!

Thought Forms: Songs About Drowning

If there is one album that you need to buy this year (apart from Nick Cave & the Bad Seed’s Skeleton Tree), it’s Thought Forms’ third album, Songs About Drowning. Released tomorrow, November 4th on Invada Records, it’s just sublime. It’s no secret that they are one of my favourite bands, both recorded and live, and it makes me so happy to see how far they have come over the years, using their talent and experience to continuously push themselves further and further. I love Ghost Mountain so much, and Songs About Drowning takes their sound and talent across the lake to a new, higher mountain top.

This is their most intense and deep album to date in my opinion. The theme of water flows through the entire album, gushing from the title, trickling and rushing around the lyrics and constantly an intrinsic part of the music, at times conjuring up an expansive ocean, at others the soft melody of a summertime creek. Water is pure, water is murky; it has hidden depths and cleansing powers, and it is both freeing and treacherous. Water is life but it is also a death of some sorts. Song About Drowning is both ocean and stream, or maybe it would be more accurate to say that it is river flowing into ocean flowing back out into a dark lake in the mountains.

While there is still that original Thought Forms sound that I love with all of my heart, Songs About Drowning takes on even more depth with the addition of Jim Barr on bass. Charlie Romijn’s vocals are stronger and clearer than ever, more powerful and beautiful, taking the lyrics and making them into poetry. As always, Deej Dhariwal and Charlie’s guitars sing to each other and their voices work in harmony, feeding off each other and bouncing against the melodies. Guy Metcalfe’s drumming has never been more powerful, rolling and beating a path through the album. There is darkness and sadness in the music, but also a certain form of hope and future pinned on a beacon in the sky. I challenge you to put your headphones on, close your eyes and find it.

While the album really works as a cohesive unit and should be listened to in one sitting I do have some personal favourites: Forget My Name which just makes my heart ache, Inland, which makes the hairs on my arms stand on end with its beauty and sadness, and The Lake which is just so poignant. There is so much heart and soul in this album it is impossible to not be moved to tears and to want to crawl inside the music and live through the lyrics again and again.

Songs About Drowning will be released on November 4th and can be purchased from all of your usual outlets, but there are still some formats left on the band’s PledgeMusic page (any funds past goal are going towards an awesome charity that is dear to my heart), and you can also order directly from the Invada website here. As with any Thought Forms record, the design and beauty of the album is fabulous. I suggest getting the vinyl because it’s gorgeous!

 You can check out the super trippy Wolff Music video below, and try to catch them out on their European tour with 65daysofstatic right now or next year on their headlining tour.

Through these pages I will absorb into me, and with these strings I will absorb into me" - The Bridge

Photo by Philipp Morozov

Thought Forms - Upcoming New Release!

It’s no secret that I adore Thought Forms and just love everything they do. I’ve seen them evolve over the years and while they have never left the signature Thought Forms sound behind, each release is an adventure, a new path and direction as well as a sea of new sounds and stories. Each and every Thought Forms track contains layers of sound that you can peel back one after another, and even after multiple listens you can always find something new to uncover.

On November 2nd, their third full length album, Songs About Drowning will be released on Invada, and I can’t wait! Joined by Jim Barr on bass and with stunning artwork by Chris Reeder, this album is going to just simply be amazing. In the meantime you can hear the first single from the album, Forget My Name, right here.

Thought Forms will be going on an extensive European tour with 65daysofstatic this autumn, and will be supporting Bob Mould on a few UK dates over the next week. They have a PledgeMusic campaign going on right now to help with tour financing and you can pre-order the album in different formats, as well as loads of other fun things. I would honestly much rather pay the band directly anyway, so I think this is an awesome set-up!  Check out their PledgeMusic page here.

If you have never taken the time to listen to Thought Forms I suggest you do right now as you are really in for a treat!

Thought Forms Official Website

Thought Forms Facebook Page

Recent interview with Charlie Romijn

Photo by Philipp Morozov

Review: Garbage - Strange Little Birds

So, I’ve kind of been waiting for this one ever since Not Your Kind of People was released in 2012. That album came at a perfect time in my life and it just reinforced the fact that I could always count on Garbage to produce a collection of songs that would literally sing to me. Listening to Strange Little Birds lying on my bed, I feel the same way as I did in exactly the same position thousands of miles away in 1995 when I listened to Garbage's first record. The fact that a band could do that to me at 17 was pretty normal seeing as I was an angsty teen obsessed with girl fronted rock bands, but that they can twist my stomach in the same, good, way 21 years later is pretty spectacular.

Strange Little Birds is so REAL, the lyrics dig deep. Our Shirley is really letting loose here, it feels like she's finally letting go of every dark thought she has ever carried and handing it over to us. I’ve always related to most of Garbage’s songs, so I’m not surprised at how much I relate to nearly every song on this album, but I feel there is some kind of inner peace at work within the band. They are doing what they love to do, giving the fans a huge dose of what they want, and not worrying about what anyone else thinks. I love it. Deep, dark and proud.

Shirley is an amazing artist, her voice is both beautiful and powerful (it's even better live by the way), but Garbage has never been just her. The band a so TOGETHER, so cohesive, they seem to feed off of each other, know exactly what they want to create, together, as one. Their sound is always polished but raw at the same time. Shirley Manson, Duke Erikson, Steve Marker and Butch Vig are a real powerhouse of creativity, always giving us a bunch of anthems that you are never really able to categorize. One moment they are pure rock, another electronica, another pop, with a bit of trip hop and shoegaze thrown in there.

Having already listened to Strange Little Birds quite a few times, I still can’t pinpoint my favourites, but that may be because I love the album as a whole, and I also feel like I can listen to each song separately, as its own entity.

In Sometimes I feel like the band is talking directly to me (sometimes I feel like I vanished in thin air, sometimes I feel I'm not here), the eerie melody resonating so well with the vocals, twisting the knife in a little further into the heart. Empty could have been an outtake from 1995, it’s a serious classic Garbage stomping sound, and comes across just as well as it would have back then.

I love the electronic vibe on If I Lost You, slow and trippy. I love those Garbage songs that have the more poppy vibe, mainly because I have always felt uncomfortable admitting that I like them, just because I love stompy badass girl rock. But Garbage is just as badass in its poppy sound as it is in its rock sound. This one is kind of trip hoppy. Love it.

Who can't relate to Night Drive Loneliness?! It's sad, it's beautiful and it's life. Who hasn't felt like this before?! Of those stupid things that I've said, there's one thing I regret, in the moment that I said it, I wanted to kill it, I still feel sick about it. And Even Though Our Love Is Doomed rises and rises from deep down and makes me cry.

And then you come to So We Can Stay Alive with its electronic rock sound, makes you want to dance along with those awesome guitar riffs, shredding with the beats. When you finally get to Amends it feels like you have been pulled through a wringer, but in a GOOD way; music always tends to help me let go in a way. Therapeutic for those who create and for those who listen.

So it's a shame that we don't talk, I miss your face and life is short, get off your cross cause long goodbyes, come every time, come every time

I feel like I can always count on Garbage to deliver an album that delivers exactly what I need right THEN. An album that I'm going to know off by heart before long and give to my girls because they will also love it, even though they don't yet know it.

Road trip with your best friend, the wind in your hair and an adventure in your mind anyone?

Strange Little Birds was released today, June 10th, on Garbage's own label, Stunvolume.

Review: The Kills - Ash & Ice

From the first notes of Doing it to Death my body relaxes and my heart sighs with relief - it's going to be another scorcher, another Kills album that I'm going to play over and over again and never get tired of hearing.

The Kills are one of those bands that I've lost count of how many times I have seen live. Webster Hall, Music Hall of Williamsburg, Bowery Ballroom (for some magazine party I think?!), Terminal 5... There was one performance at Webster Hall in 2008 where there was some kind of fire in the roof and the show was suddenly stopped until a fireman came out on stage and yelled "the show must go on!". I still remember quite vividly sitting right above the stage at Terminal 5, watching my friends hit the beats on those drums, beating the sounds right into my heart.. I have a long history with this band and feel like they will be forever sewn into my life as it moves along. Ash & Ice is one of my most anticipated albums of the year, in addition to Garbage and Nick Cave’s new endeavours, and I'm so happy that yet again they have given me another reason to love them even more!

Some bands change it up completely with each new album; some develop their sound and stick to it. There are risks with either approach, the former alienating their fan base, the latter boring their fan base, but if you find that perfect balance you can only create great things. The Kills have always had their own sound, dirty, gritty, sexy rock with guitars that sweep you off the ground; chucking you in the air and slamming you back down on the sticky floor, while the vocals are both tart and sweet. Allison Mosshart’s voice is soulful enough to pull at your heart and gritty enough to make you want to be her when you grow up. They've stayed true to their sound but worked on it, improved it, taken their sound and pushed it every single time. No album sounds the same, you are happy to get that true Kills sound, but excited to hear new songs all at the same time.

I find that on the whole the album is more heavy on the synths than previous works, maybe due to Jamie Hince's recent hand surgeries, maybe not, but it works well, bringing a new take on their still unmistakable sound, a little more depth in some places, a little more lightness in others. I also found that the lyrics are deeper, more introspective, digging deeper than Blood Pressures did. I feel that Allison started putting more of herself into her lyrics on the 2011 release and just went further on Ash & Ice.

I love those songs that are stripped down with Allison's voice belting out heartfelt lyrics (Days of Why and How on Ash & Ice or Last Goodbye from Blood Pressures). She injects so much emotion and raw energy into every word she sings. Hum for your Buzz is so bluesy and those organ sounds that pop up in the song are just perfect, listening to it makes me seriously feel like I'm in a dark bar at 2am listening to a beautiful woman belt out her heartache under a blue light... Tom Waits could come stepping in at any moment to join her. That Love had me in tears and the strumming melody behind Jamie and Allison’s soft vocals convey so much nostalgia in Echo Home.

At the same time Ash & Ice is full of heavier rock tracks, like the first single off the album, Doing it to Death, Heart of a Dog or Impossible Tracks. The dissonant and fractured guitar sounds on Hard Habit to Break is the same sound that drew me to love this band from the beginning, and definitely not a habit I want them to break any time soon!

All in all I find that there is more emotion in Allison's voice, in Jamie's guitar riffs... Life happened and they captured it, digested it and spat it out separately and together all at once. Ash & Ice, the remnants of a fire and a deep freeze, opposites but together, the phoenix rising again.

You see, for me The Kills are my New York City, always will be. Any one of these songs on the album conjures up memories of drinking in a bar, walking down a street, sitting in someone's apartment the night after the night before. Memories that are sometimes best forgotten, but nowadays remembered with a smile. Black Tar really grabbed me by the guts in this aspect. Ash & Ice is every bit as good as previous albums and don't let any music critic say otherwise. There is so much emotion, pain and hard work dripping from every note and every word on this album and I can't wait to play it over and over again on our record player.

Ash & Ice was released today (June 3rd). The Kills are on tour right now, all information about tours, albums and anything else is available on their website.