Connie Greshner - Borderline Shine

Borderline Shine is Connie Greshner’s personal story of dealing with complex childhood trauma and mental illness. When Connie was 8 her father shot and killed her mother and was sentenced to life in prison (he was later released on good behavior). At the time (1980’s), where she resided in Alberta, Canada, there was no real safety net for child victims of trauma, and Connie and her siblings were left to fend for themselves without any real input from any child services. Connie, the youngest, was bounced around between living with older siblings, an aunt and uncle, a boarding school in Kansas, before making her own way while still in her teens. Academically brilliant she got through high school, university, and graduate school, despite her many moves around the country, and despite her deep dives into depression, alcoholism, substance abuse, and unhealthy relationships.

I related to some parts of Connie’s life, also having dealt with complex childhood trauma without having been provided a real option to unpack and heal, resorting to alcohol to power through a difficult adolescence and early adulthood. Even in today’s world there is still a stigma when it comes to trauma and mental health, and if you make it apparently “unscathed” into adulthood you are then “OK”. As humans we are strong and very resilient, and very adept at putting on a show of being OK. Books like Connie’s tell us that it’s actually OK to tell the truth and seek help. I had a little issue with how Connie continued to slightly normalize her alcohol abuse, mainly near the end where she states that she let herself have one beer here and there - it felt a little strange, but at the same time I’m in no place to judge someone else’s alcohol consumption! Everyone’s path to sobriety and self-care is different.

One thing that I wish the author had included were more perspectives from those around her. The memoir is very much a tunnel vision of Connie’s own experience and I would have liked to hear more from Theresa, Jace, Jax, Jennifer, Maeve, Jo-Anne, etc. We effectively end up only seeing Connie as she sees (or saw) herself, which is obviously not how everyone else sees or saw her. I also wish that the topic of intergenerational trauma and violence had been developed rather than just alluded to. But otherwise it is a well-written and helpful memoir on trauma, mental illness, advocacy, and recovery.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.