International Women's Day 2017

So it’s International Women’s Day again and this year many women will be striking, protesting (silently or not), wearing red, donating to organizations and charities and standing up for their sisters around the world. At the same time, many women will have no idea that this day exists. For the origins of the day itself, this website has a great timeline and explanation. There is no right way to celebrate the day, everyone does it their own way (if they celebrate at all), but it’s good to remember that today was named International Women’s Day as “a global day celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The day also marks a call to action for accelerating gender parity.” (Quote taken from here).

I come from a country where striking was considered a right, and a way to make one’s voice heard. A way to demand better pay, equal rights, better hours, etc. It wasn’t considered a privilege; most strikers go without pay to fight for their future and the future of their kids. Striking and protesting were/are often the only ways that many people, men and women, were/are able to actually make themselves heard. And also, just because one person strikes for one cause doesn’t mean that they are not invested in others. Just because I write about something that bothers me in this moment doesn’t mean that I have never been bothered about what happens to another woman in a different country. So why am I constantly reading articles trying to devalue the efforts of women in this country to make themselves heard via a strike, and comparing our issues with the issues of other women in the world? Just because I believe in equal pay in the workplace doesn’t mean I also don’t speak out about genital mutilation, or the fact that rape in India is practically considered normal. Just because I fight for our pro-choice rights here does not mean that I have never done anything to reach out and make a change in another mother’s life in the DRC or Sudan. I am not unique; most women I know are fighting for all of our collective rights, wherever we may be. We understand our privilege and try to use it in a way that we can make a real change. So for those of you telling us that we are idiots for striking, maybe take a step back and look into the history of women’s rights over the past 100 years or so. No movement has ever been perfect, and probably never will be, but at least we can make an effort to continue to make changes for all of us, one step at a time.

My partner and I aren’t well off by any shape or form and as immigrants in the US not really in any stable status either right now. This didn’t stop us from striking back in February for a Day Without Immigrants, and it will not stop me from participating in the Day Without a Woman movement that takes place today. This will also not stop me from also contributing towards making my voice heard on many different issues that continue to bother me worldwide. At the same time it also won’t stop me from preparing meals for everyone, reading to my kids and making sure the laundry is done. Funnily enough I am also able to multitask quite well, even when I’m on strike. Striking may be my privilege, but it’s also my way of proving a point. And if you can’t strike, then no one is going to look at you any differently, because no one is asking you to do something that you may not be able to, or may not feel comfortable doing. That’s fine. We are luckily able to make that choice still.

There are so many ways that we can help our sisters, in our own countries and across the world. Start at home by volunteering at a women’s shelter, picking up the phones at a domestic violence helpline, calling out discrimination and teaching our kids that we are all equal no matter how different we are. Choose a charity at home or abroad that is close to your heart and help out (not everything requires money either). Read up on the plight of women across the world, share information and educate others. And instead of bashing other women for their choices in online forums, practice being supportive and using empathy instead of fear as a way to try to understand. Our future generations are looking at us to provide a path towards a brighter future, so let’s do that.

I am very blessed to come from a very long line of strong, capable women who managed to confront adversity time and time again and still make it through. We may be slightly insane and eccentric, but this heritage is a huge source of inspiration for me. These women fought for me to be able to be whatever I want to be, and I will continue to fight for my children to be whoever they want to be. Family has taught me that we don’t have to be perfect to become an inspiration or an example, but we do need to always fight for what is right. Fighting isn’t easy; neither is looking out into this huge world and trying to understand someone else’s plight. But it’s so important to step outside of our comfort zone and challenge ourselves constantly. I am also very blessed to have come across and personally know many inspirational women in my life, women who were able to step out of their comfort zones to make someone else’s life better, women who left their lives to start another in a better place, women who survived and moved forward despite everything they had been through.  Women who were victims but who survived and became role models, helping others.

We shouldn’t need to strike or protest for our rights, but we still need to. And sadly, many of the people who don’t believe this is necessary are other women. Now THAT is what I call privilege. Because if you think that we have nothing to fight for then your world must be a very small one.

A few (out of many) of the current inspirational women that continue to make me want to always push further: Theresa Vandermeer and Work + Shelter, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and her wonderful way with words, never one to be afraid of speaking out, my mother Alison Toon and her ability to create continuously, Charlie Romijn for being a driving force and talent while still dealing with people asking her when she’s going to stop with the “music thing” and settle down and have kids, Stephanie Kuehnert for continuing to push boundaries, Jenny Raymond for being amazing and for creating Mamazou, and Ally at Life With My Little Duck who always has time for everyone she loves.

ArtStreet presented by M5Arts

You may have remembered when I posted about an abandoned hotel that had become a temporary art exhibition last year (see ArtHotel), well the M5Arts collective is back again this year with another temporary exhibit, ArtStreet. This time the project takes place inside and around a huge warehouse in downtown Sacramento and features over 100 artists from all over the world. Cesar and I spent ages walking around all of the different installations earlier this week, depicting so many stories: sadness, despair, hope, love, current events, degradation of society, history among many other themes. So inspiring, I really wish that it was a permanent feature in the city rather than just temporary. Of course I took a bunch of photos of as much as I could, feeling more and more inspired with every step. If you are one of the artists who participated or you know anyone who did, please don't hesitate to tag in the comments. You can also find a full list of all artists here.

FULL ALBUM OF PHOTOS HERE

Sacramento Mural Festival 2016

NYC Street Art 2009-2015

Interview with Lynn Doak, Holistic Fertility Coach

Today my focus will be on another wonderful friend, woman and all around inspiration to me, Lynn Doak. Lynn and I "met" via a message board many, many years ago, and luckily, even though at that point I was always traveling all over the place, ended up not too far from each other when I lived in London (she was in Belfast). We have many a tale from London and New York City, and basically grew through our 20's and 30's together. Lynn has always been a real go-getter in my eyes, never settling for anything until she is 100% content with it. She has worked amazingly hard to create her own business, I remember when she was working a full-time "day" job and then studying and working at night, and it makes me so happy to see that not only does she now own her own thriving business but that she is constantly pushing herself to branch out and help others on their journeys. I interviewed Lynn recently to learn more about her fertility coaching practice and to understand what she does. It's been wonderful to watch her business grow and I loved talking about her practice and her plans for the future with her. Please read ahead for more information and for the links to her website and business! Thank you Lynn for taking the time to not only answer my questions, but to also provide interesting and informative answers! 

From the Inside: Please describe your current business for us!

Lynn Doak: I own Devata Wellbeing Spa in Northern Ireland.  We provide a range of holistic and spa treatments to men and women, however our fertility and pregnancy treatments have become more and more popular over the past few years and I have branched out into working solely with women for fertility and pregnancy – while my two amazing staff look after the general treatments.

FTI: First of all, how did Devata come into existence?

LD: I first became interested in holistic therapies about 15 years ago when I faced a health challenge of my own – it wasn’t particularly bad – but I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in my feet in my 20s and spent a few months finding it very difficult to walk.  I remember the doctor wanted to put me on Methotrexate (which is a very serious drug that is used for cancer patients but is also used to routinely treat psoriasis!!).  Fortunately I researched it and saw the list of side effects – everything from needing monthly chest scans, to infertility to death!  So I decided to pass on the drugs.  And someone suggested I try reflexology.  Well after a few sessions of that, combined with reading Louise L Hay’s - You can Heal Your Life and saying daily affirmations that my feet were healthy – I was able to walk again, and have neverhad any of the symptoms reoccur!  I immediately knew I wanted to train as a Reflexologist, and that spiraled me on the path which not only changed my health, but my total outlook on life – it changed my life! 

As I began to work with people of all ages, and all different types of conditions, it became clear to me that many minor health problems could be improved by natural therapies and dietary changes.  It became my goal to educate people that there were natural alternatives out there. 

FTI:  How did you move towards becoming a holistic fertility coach? Why have you separated these services from Devata?

LD: It happened organically, by a lot of women coming to me for reflexology because they’d heard it was good if trying to get pregnant.  I had a lot of pregnancy success stories in the early days, before I even knew anything about fertility – the reflexology alone worked for many of them!  But then as the word of mouth spread, I began to see more and more women with more fertility issues, and unfortunately the reflexology alone didn’t seem to work for them.  So I began researching everything I could on natural fertility, I took more courses including the Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal Therapy, Reproductive Reflexology, Health Coaching and more recently I have added the mind-body approach which has been HUGELY successful.  I use a wonderful emotional energy healing technique which enables us to access the subconscious mind and find out the root cause of any imbalance and release any trapped emotions from the body. It’s really interesting because a lot of women who have had miscarriages, abortions, previous traumatic births or even issues with their own birth or mothers have a lot of emotions trapped in their reproductive organs.  I also use simple self-hypnosis and deep meditation to help reprogram the mind.

FTI: What type of services do you provide?

LD: In my 12 week fertility program, I use a combination of Arvigo Therapy, Reproductive Reflexology, health coaching, Emotion code, and hypnosis/visualisations. 

FTI: Do you have any compelling/interesting stories to tell?

LD: My goal has always been to empower women to trust in their body.  And often, all that’s needed is some small changes to their lifestyle, their mindset and/or a little bit of patience.

What frustrates me is how most doctors seem to give the opposite advice.  They want to rush them into medical treatment, they rarely talk to them about their health or lifestyle and more often than not, they leave them feeling hopeless. Thankfully a lot of the women I work with have been able to prove doctors wrong.  One of them even went back to the fertility doctor who told her she had too much structural damage to ever get pregnant naturally, when she got pregnant just to tell him he was wrong.  Needless to say he was red-faced and even tried to back track on what he had said.

In particular women over 35 have it the hardest.  Doctors tell them their eggs are old, or they’re running out of eggs and they should go straight to IVF.  I have seen numerous cases of women 35+ and 40+ who have got pregnant naturally.  This is why it’s important to do the mind-body work – because we need to reprogram the mind from all this negative nonsense.   We have had years of articles and well meaning relatives telling us we better get a move on, because after you hit 35 it’s all downhill….blah blah…when actually if we can change the way we think about this, if we can learn how to nourish our bodies, and to visualize pregnancy success, it CAN happen.  Now I’m not saying this is easy, or that it happens overnight (although I have a had quite a few women get pregnant after one or two sessions) but there is an element of patience required. 

Women over 35 are encouraged to seek medical help after 6 months of trying to get pregnant and I can understand this is because if they need medically assisted treatment, its best not to delay it.  But in the cases of healthy women, who are ovulating regularly and there is no medical reason for not getting pregnant i.e. “unexplained infertility”, then its usually just a case of it’s taking longer than they hoped, or they have a few nutritional deficiencies to fix, or a few emotional issues to clear.

I’ve also worked with women with PCOS and Endometriosis who have gone on to get pregnant.  Again, this takes time.  With PCOS usually the problem is that the cycles are so irregular that it’s difficult to pinpoint ovulation, so it takes a lot of regular sex.  But I have seen women with 70-80 day cycles get pregnant with persistence!  With endometriosis, the abdominal massage really helps to break down any scar tissue and get the blood flowing again, but it can take up to 6 months of regular massage, and unfortunately a lot of women get frustrated and think its not working, and they don’t come for long enough.

FTI: Where do you see yourself going in the next 5 years?

LD: Well I am currently developing an online Holistic fertility program so I can help women from all over the world.  I am excited to go deeper into mind-body approach to fertility and I will be offering these techniques over Skype so I can work with anyone, anywhere. 

I also plan to teach more Hypnobirthing classes this year, and would like to develop an online program in that too.  Its certainly not that I don’t enjoy working in person with women – I will always continue to do that – but we are fortunate to live in an age where we can create our own schedules, and work from wherever.  In the early days of a business its difficult to do that, because you feel like you can’t turn down any business, and that you need to re-arrange your schedule to suit your clients.  Well, I’ve worked very hard over the last 10 years, so now its time for me to create my own schedule, and spend more time with my own family.

FTI: Who do you treat?

LD: I mostly work with women in their mid 30s to early 40s and I see most fertility conditions present – unexplained infertility, secondary infertility, male infertility, endometriosis, PCOS, fibroids etc.

Recently I’ve noticed a lot more younger women coming for fertility help too, in their late 20s and early 30s.  I really hope that’s not indicative of fertility declining in younger women too, but with all the toxic chemicals that are around in our homes, in our skincare, in our food, it wouldn’t surprise me if this became a bigger issue in the future.  That’s why it’s my mission to educate women of all ages about developing a more natural lifestyle, using natural products and eating real food.

FTI: Would you also be interested in adding doula work to your current business model? Pre and postpartum.

LD: Honestly, I wouldn’t have the time to dedicate to doula work.  My fertility clients are often booked 3 months in advance, and with doula work I assume you would have to be on call for 2-3 weeks and be able to drop everything at short notice to attend a birth.  I have a bit too much going on to be able to do that.  But its something I think you would be great at Jade! ;)

(FTI: It is something that I have been considering, along with being a lactation counselor, but I will revisit it in a year or so when I feel that we are all a bit more settled down!).

You can visit Lynn's website here, check out her Facebook page here and also check out Devata's offerings here!

Ramblings with Charlie Romijn

A few years ago I started interviewing women who inspired me to showcase on my blog, as well as a separate feature on women in rock, and I interviewed Charlie for both of those features. Life got in the way as it does and I didn’t publish anything. Earlier this year I decided to get back on track again, creating an ongoing series featuring people who inspire me, starting with Simay’s essay, Dara’s interview and just recently Henna’s piece. I have more coming over the next few weeks, but today is for Charlie Romijn from Thought Forms.

I’ve written about Thought Forms several times over the years, a band I have seen move, evolve and grow and who have always managed to rip my heart apart and sew it back together with their music. Thought Forms are Charlie Romijn, Deej Dhariwal and Guy Metcalfe, hail from England, and I consider all of them to be part of my close group of friends. Charlie and I go way, way back, and jokingly consider each other “sisters from another mister”, and have always felt that we can talk about anything together, even if we live thousands of miles apart in different countries. She is of the most inspiring people I know, and not just musically, her ability to have an idea and actually do something with it is amazing. She is constantly creating, whether she knows it or not. She gracefully answered a few questions for me that you can read below, and I encourage you to check out some of her work, whether it be music, art or poetry.

From the Inside: What type of music do you play?

Charlie: I’m in a band called Thought Forms, which has evolved over the years from mostly instrumental post-rock style improvisation based compositions through drone rock, grungy-doom-gaze to whatever it is we’re doing now… Songs about drowning.

The solo stuff I’ve done up until this point, under the name Silver Stairs Of Ketchikan (after the Richard Brautigan poem) has all been improvisational.

Can you describe your influences in a few words?

Some musical influences that spring to mind right at this moment in time are Pulp, Nick Cave, Get The Blessing, Melanie De Biasio, Sonic Youth, Portishead, PJ Harvey. Because of words, space, intensity, growth, transportation through sound and trust.

Who is your main woman in rock influence?

There are so many amazing women who have inspired and influenced me over the years but I guess I’d have to say Kim Gordon. Sonic Youth were such an important band to me, I loved the juxtaposition of the perfect pop songs and the experimental free noise - absolute freedom. Kim is such a multi-faceted talent; music, art, writing, fashion… and such a formidable energy onstage. The first time I saw them play, I was fifteen. She thrust the microphone into my face during Kool Thing and let me sing… That was it for me.

How did you start playing music? What made you pick up an instrument and start playing?

My dad got me my first guitar when I was eight years old.

He’d recently bought himself one from the TradeIt for £50 and we used to sit in his bedroom and record covers of blues songs together, me singing “Hoochie Coochie Man” and playing bad harmonica over his chords.

He gave me a 3/4 size nylon string of my own, presumably to keep my sticky fingers away from his instruments (a rule he still implements today) and I started to take lessons at school and teach myself Beatles songs at home from a simple chord book.

By twelve, I’d started listening to bands like Nirvana… Watching videos of them performing got me so excited, I wanted to do what they were doing and make people feel what I was feeling.

So, thanks to Dad once again, I ended up with my first electric guitar, started writing songs and formed a band at school.

Have there ever been moments that you have wanted to give up but kept going?

Often. It’s normal I think… Especially when you’re working so closely with other people who you’re SO entwined with, it’s impossible not to feel that way sometimes.

Those internet memes about the ‘creative process’ are very true.

I don’t know. There are definitely moments when I doubt everything and wonder what the fuck I’m doing and panic about the fact that I have no actual skills, but then I remember all the amazing experiences I’ve had because I’ve done exactly what I had to and taken the opportunities that have come my way, and I wouldn’t change anything.

 How are you treated by men when they find out you are a musician? Any good or bad stories that others may relate to?

I’ve got plenty of negative tales from over the years, I wouldn’t even know where to start…

The good stories aren’t stories because that’s the way it should be.

How do you feel about music and politics/causes/rebellion as one entity?  Do you feel that both go hand in hand or do you prefer to keep them separate?

I think they definitely can and do go hand in hand… Thought I don’t believe that anything, political or personal, has to be overtly obvious to another person for it to be there.  For me, the music I make is deeply and directly connected to who I am and that encompasses everything. For some people, playing music in itself can be an act of rebellion.

Do you feel that you are/could become a spokesperson for women in the music industry?

I don’t feel like I’m qualified to (or would want to) speak for anyone else, I can only speak from my own experiences.

Do you relate to any specific music trend/movement more than others?

I don’t think so. Certainly I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older, all the music I’ve ever loved has stayed with me, so I guess the music I relate to will keep growing…

Where do you see yourself in 5 years time? Anything specific you would like to accomplish before then?

I want to come back to play in America. We want to go to Japan! We just really want to play as much as possible in as many places as possible…

To continue to create and grow together and individually, keep making music and art, meeting beautiful people, seeing new places, eating new food!

Just making the most of life.

Do you have a best and worst memory of being on tour?

I love touring. Getting to travel and see new places with my best friends, playing music every night… Even the things that are frustrating at the time (like being stuck in traffic for 14 hours straight, getting robbed, being lost in France in the middle of the night with nowhere to stay) seem kind of funny with rose-tinted hindsight. 

There was one Thought Forms tour that I think we’d all consider the worst and none of us would care to repeat - don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed playing, but the other bands on the tour made it very clear that they didn’t want us there and were really rude and unfriendly the whole time… They were unprofessional too, turned up late to every show, took forever to set up and soundcheck and to top it off their music wasn’t exactly our cup of tea. There were no redeeming features. But I think we’d just always been really lucky prior to that, mostly playing alongside lovely, talented artists who it’s a joy to listen to each night.

Too many best memories from tours… Watching a full moon rise over ten thousand people as we played in Montreal, swimming in Lake Geneva after Montreux Jazz Festival, performing in a Roman amphitheatre on the 10th anniversary of our first ever gig and less dramatically but just as brilliant, a hilarious car journey to Leicester, just the four of us having a laugh.

We’ve been so lucky to have the experiences we’ve shared.

Can you tell me more about your record label and what you look for in the music that you release?

Since 2009 I’ve been releasing music on my own ‘label’ called Lava Thief.

I started it just as a means of releasing some of our other projects - Solar Flares, Silver Stairs Of Ketchikan, Deej’s solo albums - but ended up expanding beyond the Thought Forms family and putting out some great stuff, the most recent of which is Lava Thief’s first vinyl release, the second album by a band from Bristol called ‘Repo Man’.

I don’t really ever look out for stuff to release, but when something like that comes along… I was so excited by it, they have something really special and I wanted to share it with the world!

You have many artistic projects on the go at any given time. What are you working on right now?

I’m currently working on a Thought Forms album which is in its final stages…

Aside from that, I’m working on more visual stuff and I have a couple of writing projects on the go.

Thought Forms' next album will be released later this year on Invada Records. You can check out their previous releases and tons of other information about the band on their website here as well as their Facebook page here. 

The photographer taking a picture of the artist taking a picture of the photographer

An empty Hammerstein Ballroom before the doors opened. It was a sold out show. I can't even imagine the emotions of playing in front of so many people!